A Very Bad Year In Sports

So, basically all the sports teams that I like are sucking.

1. Seattle Seahawks –

Loudest Fans in the NFL

Now, I am from the Seattle area and I am FOR SURE the 12th Man, but holy fuck, guys. You may be starting to warm up in the season but it took you quite a while. TOO LONG. We basically got a complete MAKEOVER of players and coaches. This is good and also bad. We lost Matt Hasselbeck. People always complained that he was a bad Quarterback and was always out with injuries. Well I call bullshit. I do believe that the Titans are kicking some ass. Well, last I heard they were doing well, so OBVIOUSLY we were just spoiled with Hasselbeck.

2. Everett Silvertips –

We ❤ Lincoln!

This is a hockey team in the WHL consisting of guys like 16 years old and up. I was so excited for this season because we have Mitch Love, a LEGEN – wait for it – DARY Silvertips veteran as Assistant Coach. So you can see why I’m just A WE BIT PISSED OFF that they’re totally sucking. I expected more out of them, and out of Mitch Love.

3. Team Lowe’s in NASCAR –

Hendrick Motorsports

Ohh, how I adore Jimmie Johnson. He’s such a fun personality. Some people argue that NASCAR is not a sport, well I have three reputable sources to back me up that racing is in fact a sport:

  • Wikipedia refers to “Motorized racing” under the Sport page.
  • Google dictionary describes the word sport to be “An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others”. Notice that I’ve underlined the part that connects with racing. Don’t tell me racing doesn’t take skill, you don’t only turn left. If you say that, you just sound like an asshole. You have a lot to worry about. Acceleration, breaking, curves in the road, when to refill on gas, when to pit, where rubber or debris is on the road, other drivers and their positions, tire pressure, etc. (By the way, you can get any definition from Google by simply typing in “define: [your word here]”.)
  • Dictionary.com states that a sport is “an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.”. Now, I’m not sure if they meant racing on foot or what, but it works both ways (LOL).
Well, anyways. Jimmie didn’t win the Sprint Cup this year (that little bitch Tony Stewart did), but that’s fine since he won the 5 previous Cups all consecutively. That’s my boy!


4. Jason “Mayhem” Miller –

I'm a Mayhem Monkey!

Mayhem is a professional MMA fighter. He was once a very lovable and quirky host on MTV2’s Bully Beatdown. He was recently on The Ultimate Fighter Season 14 as a coach. As the season ended, the coaches of the two teams ( the other coach being fucktard Michael Bisping) would fight. Now, keep in mind that Mayhem hasn’t seriously fought for about 6 years, but he got his ass handed to him by the limey bastard. But the thing was, he was such an honorable loser. Even though every fucking person surrounding the octagon was booing at Bisping (because EVERYONE in the UFC hates his ass), Mayhem said something along the lines of  “Now, let’s just stop booing him for a second and give him a round of applause, he beat me in a fair fight.” So even though he lost, I like him even more now. He’s a cool guy. Check out his blog here.

The only upside was that Eastlake High School’s football team made it far into the playoffs and while the Wolves didn’t come out victorious from the Championships, all is well. At least I had one team doing great this year!

Onward Eastlake into the fray...

FYI, that splatter represents the spilled blood from our rival teams when we are victorious.


Disease Paper

In school, we’ve been working on a project for about a week. It’s called, “The Disease Paper”. Basically we pick a country in a region that was assigned to us, and then we find an outbreak of a disease that happened there in the past or currently. I got North/Central America. So I chose Haiti. Not to be rude, but I just figured with the earthquake earlier this year and the whole extreme poverty thing, it would be an easy one. And I was totally right. I found everything I needed in like half an hour of research and didn’t have to open ONE book. I love reading, but not “school reading”, where you get assigned some reading and it’s a fucking terrible story anyway. So I was pretty psyched about that.

I chose the disease cholera. There was a pretty recent outbreak of it so all the information would be fresh. I usually don’t try to pick the easy way out of school projects. In fact, EVERY school project I’ve ever done was about people and places no one even knew really existed. Who the HELL has ever heard of Bjorn Hrolffson? Fucking NOBODY, that’s who. And neither does the internet, apparently, because there were like TWO websites with any information about him, And those were limited anyway. So I guess only m 5th grade class will ever know who that dude was.

I wanted a break from these projects always stressing me out so I chose an easy one. And guess what? I didn’t hate it. I thought it was enthralling. And even more, I turned every single one of my assignments in a day early. And that’s just not me. This is really exciting to me, maybe I’ll actually like schoolwork now. I sure hope so. That would be most excellent.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Now, here’s my problem about this project, though. The whole point of it is to write an essay. And I suck at writing essays. I’ve never gotten an A on one in my entire life. Not from lack of trying and hard work, I assure you I did both. I just CANNOT for the life of me structure it. I don’t know what my issue is, I’ve been writing these essays my whole life. I just can’t seem to get it.

UPDATE: I had to remove the document from this post. I wouldn’t really mind if people wanted to use the information that I found but that would just get somebody in trouble, I think. Sorry. 😦

294% of Suck

On Wednesday the 23rd, we had a half day at school. We got out at 10:30 AM rather than the usual 2:20 PM. At my school, we have three of our 6 classes everyday. For instance on Mondays I have World History, Algebra 2, and English. Then on Tuesday I have my other three classes French 2, Integrated Biology, and Health/Fitness. The only day we have all 6 are on Fridays.

So it was strange when I was alerted we had all of our classes on Wednesday. “This is absurd!” is the phrase I latched onto that week. I wouldn’t have minded except for the fact it was completely useless. Something strange has happened this year in that I’ve started caring about my education. Having all 6 classes on a half day means that each class is only 25 minutes. I couldn’t possibly learn anything in such a short time.

And now we are back to what this post was supposed to be about. All classes I had until 4th Period Biology were just terrible. Watching The Lion King, some French soap opera, and listening to a lecture that had information exclusively for seniors. In biology, we had a quiz. And for some reason my teacher Mr. Monahan showed us a PowerPoint slideshow.

The reason this was strange was that it was about math tricks. You’d think that would be more appropriate in a math class, but this is kind of a regular thing with Mr. Monahan (who by the way won the Washington State High School Science Teacher of the Year Award). He usually teaches lessons about random topics like poetry and the Presidential election.

ANYWAYS, this slideshow was about the wonderful powers of math. Most of it was little tricks like:

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

Wow. Amazing!

But there was one particular “trick” that pushed my buttons:

Let’s say that the alphabet corresponds with numbers.

A = 1
B = 2
C = 3

Z = 26

While K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is 96%


H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 98%,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is 100%.

Whoa, NO WAY!

While that is a super-fun math trick, Mr. Monahan, I still don’t fucking like math.