Thanksgiving – I am Disappoint

Ahh, Thanksgiving. The day we’re supposed to give thanks for what us privileged folk have. But do we even really think about it? All I ever hear about Thanksgiving is that the bulk of Facebook is thankful for their families. While that’s great, it’s also not very creative. I’m all for loving and appreciating all that our families do, but I think if we have a holiday devoted to giving thanks, people could possibly come up with something a little better than that.

And here’s another thought. To give thanks for all we have, we gorge ourselves until we almost burst? Wow. That has absolutely no relation whatsoever. I just love the fact that we have three consecutive months devoted to eating. All starting in late October where little children dress up as Batman, Cinderella, and Donatello from TMNT and go knocking door-to-door to get free candy. So there’s our first holiday that encourages being fatties.

Our second is obviously in the next month November for Thanksgiving. Everyone who DOESN’T cook the turkey are all just huge, lazy fatasses. After we eat, we go take a nap and leave all the dirty dishes to the host. And people don’t even say thanks for anything some of the time.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Bitch!

Our last month would be December, around Christmastime. Sure, it’s mostly about gift-giving but we all know there is quite a bit of eating going on here. Stockings filled with chocolates, candy canes on the tree, a ham perhaps, and maybe even a fruitcake, as vile as that is.

So in America, we have three months in a row that encourage us to be fatty fat fats. I only say in America because that’s KIND OF a big deal here. Ya know, the whole ‘being super obese and having to wheel yourself down to McDonald’s every afternoon to get your Bic Mac’ thing?


Either way, I think this is a little absurd. Not to mention Black Friday. I actually know people that woke up at 4 AM to go shopping this year. Yeah, no thanks. I’d rather sleep off my food coma in my super warm bed while you go into the blistering cold to get 50% off a pair of jeans from Walmart. *GAG*


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